One day there were three boys walking down the street, and suddenly they heard cries for help. When the boys got to the noise they saw a man in a lake drowning. The three boys saved him from drowning.
The man asked the boys how he could ever repay them. The first boy said, "I want a boat."
The second boy said, "I want a truck." And the third boy said, "I want three tombstones with our names all on them."
Man asked, "Why is that, son?"
The little boy said, "Because when my Dad finds out that we saved you, he is going to kill us all!"
A Girl was in the hospital, her parents sat waiting in the waiting room...finally the doctor comes out.
Both parents jump up, and the whole room watches.
"Is it serious?" the mom asked. "She needs a brain transplant" the doctor replies. Both parents stand silent for a moment...then the father asks, "How much is it gonna cost?" The brain? Girl's are 450 dollars, and boy's are 5,800dollars"
All the men in the room seem to chuckle to themselves, then finally the father brings himself to ask,
"Why are the boys more expensive than the girl's?" THe doctor looks at him and replies, "We have to mark the girl's down because they're used."
A man is having breakfast when his wife comes on down and is mad as hell at him.
He asks why she's mad...
She tells him she found a piece of paper with the name MARILU on it..
He pauses and says "Honey that is a tip on a horse that ran last week at the track" Next morning his wife comes down really mad this time, and starts slapping him, he asks "what now?"
"THE HORSE JUST CALLED YOU" she replied.
Patient: My hair keeps falling out.
What can you give me to keep it in?
Doctor: A shoebox.
What's the difference between a vitamin and a hormone?
You can't hear a vitamin.